ten

2010 was good to me. no doubt a winning season.

Crazy how much better life is when God is genuinely at the center.

Here's to another year of having my heart explode with God's goodness.

too too too fast

oh hey guys. sorry, i know it's been forever since i've written anything. this semester was a busy one. i took 17 credits (which is a much, much larger load than any semester in the past), i took up a part time job coaching 2 volleyball teams for the parks and rec, and i sang with my church (which hardly felt like a duty.. it was an enormous blessing and a privilege). and i loved every minute of it. i'm an optimist and a Christian and i'll always believe that God is good. but even if i didn't always believe so, this would be one of the times when it would be easy to say. God has been very, very good to me and these have been some of the happiest months of my life.

so: here's a couple highlights..

my relationships: i've been blessed with a million amazing relationships within the last 4 months, it's so insane. i remember when i used to talk about people who've made me happy recently in my blogs, i would tag them in a post on facebook. but i'd literally run out of room if i tried to do that this time. you just know who you are :]

music: i love the worship team. i act mean to you guys but it's only cuz i like you so much. i liked going to catalyst and pasco with you. you are nice. except for brian.

my roommate:.. oh dear beth graham. you make me way happy. i'm glad you're not as pristine as i thought you were when i met you last semester.. because if you were.. yeah. you know. it makes me so extremely happy that i daily look forward to the time of day when we can take our pants off to french techno. and that we can jam out to madera limpia. and that you fart audibly around me now (that's no secret.. everybody knows). and that you laugh at me when i get so frustrated over my life during prayer that i start swearing. and that you laugh at pretty much every unfiltered comment that comes out my mouth. and that God gave me you as a roommate, because i have no doubt in my mind that he did that for us.

God is so, so good to me. i'm very excited for the future and the things he's changing my heart toward. i'm glad that he's faithful, and i'll praise Him when life gets hard again. but man. my life is stinkin goood.

so to sum up! 1. church is good. 2. classes were good. 3. friends are good. 4. God is good, and consequently 5. the future will be good. oh and... 6. there might even be a boy.

i love you guys. let me know how i can pray for you.

here's to the end of a fantastic semester :]

love, break me

i have been quite busy lately. school has been treating me well, even though 17 credits is quite the load for me. church is treating me so well (turns out i'm now a southern baptist!). never before have i been blessed to know so many genuine, kind, God-loving people. i even kinda have a job. sure, it's six hours a week, but i'm really not sure if i could handle more than that. but stuff is happening in my heart and mind (it's heavy now, but i have no doubt i'll be better off when i get to the other side of it), and it's honestly too much for me to make sense of right now.

last night as i was laying in bed, i started dreaming. in my dream, i saw Jesus carrying my cross up to Calvary. instead of having an emotional reaction or helping Him carry my cross, i got out my camera and started taking artistic, detailed pictures of His bleeding back.

i don't know what this means yet.

i don't believe this was just a random firing of neurons.

i don't believe my brain came up with this on its own,

and i don't believe i'll be able to be at peace until i can figure this out.

keep me in your prayers, because i'm still growing up. and growing up leads me to face some harsh realities. but the joy of it all is that through those harsh realities, i also face the beauty of Christ's love and what it means for me and my relationships.

the best it's ever been

if you've talked to me much lately, you've probably noticed that i've been extremely happy.

maybe even a little on the obnoxious side.

but please don't hate me too much, because:

i am the happiest i have ever been in my life.

i have always been content with my life (well not always, but since i've founded myself in God), but things obviously don't always go your way.

sometimes life is rough, or unfair, or plain just rude to you.. but you learn how to not only get past it, but learn how to be joyful in every circumstance and love those around you with the best example of Christlike love you can be.

this is not one of those rough times. i am completely overwhelmed by the wealth of blessings surrounding me.

my roommate is a gorgeous, smart, kind woman with a heart for God and a knowledge of Him.

my dorm, aside from being beautiful, is full of the friendliest, most caring people i have ever had the pleasure of living with.

my church is wonderful. i've been blessed to meet so many kind people.

one thing i'm extremely excited about is the opportunity i've been given to sing with the worship team at resonate. it's possibly the most talented group of musicians i've ever known, and it still blows my mind a little bit that they would let me sing with them.

worship is an amazing thing.. i see it as a response to what i know of God. and what i've been shown of His character is capable of flooring me.

where else could i find an unconditional love? all i've ever done is walk away from God and ignore Him and fail to make Him a priority. and all He does is love me.

(Josh: There You Are by carolyn arends. i want to sing it sometime! it's extremely meaningful to me, and a perfect example of why i worship God.)

i'm a little ashamed that i haven't fully used my talent to honor God in the past (thank you, meiocre self). but i fully intend to in the future, because He is completely worthy.

(and don't you dare quote me as being cocky, i know my voice is a gift from God and i take no credit for it)

these last few weeks have been more deep and meaningful to me than nearly anything else in the past 18 years of my life. my heart is full, and my joy has been restored. and i love my God.

got a hot date ;]

it's been a while!
i FINALLY got work, so that's what has been consuming most of my time lately.

gettin up at 4 every mornin gets tough after a while.

but i'm surviving!

glad to finally be making some money :]

i got an A- in my summer class! very happy about that.

it brought my cum. gpa up by 0.2 :]

so ready for next semester.

me and kirsten went on a trip up to pullman last weekend and it was awesomeee

first thing we did after we got all her crap moved in was eat at Gambino's.

it was SO DELICIOUS

but a lot of food, and really quite expensive..

then we went and watched kate-lynne and josh play at Bucer's in Moscow.

they did really good and i bought an awesome book! las hermosas enseñanzas de la biblia.

then we returned to our normal state and got all disgusting.

i really shouldn't ever live with her again... as much as i love her ;]

then we painted (that was an adventure)

visited Kathy Dorgan and her BEAUTIFUL baby boy Daniel! :]

went to resonate. i miss it so much!

gonna go eat some delicious shish-kabobs courtesy of Joey Lane after i clean up at the work site.

and got a hot date to Kristen and Grant's wedding tomorrow!

her name is Katie Ellis, and she is a frickin babe ;]

excited about the future.

summer semester is OVER WITH!

soooo happy!
my grades sucked last semester, which was scary.
and i am so glad that i'm finally gettin on the right track again! :]
i can't wait for next semester.

i worked today!
woke up at the crack of 4 o'clock, drove for almost 3 hours, worked for [barely] 2 hours, drove back.
worth it?.... completely.
played guitar hero with brother. [sucked it up]
played sand vb with old friends!! sooo fun!

can't wait for pullman with kirsten this weekend :]

just so happy! :]

not quite there yet

today was an adventure!

it was just me and brother at home today, so i decided to be a good sister and make him breakfast :3

we bought this intriguing apple cinnamon pancake mix, but it didn't cook exactly the same as regular pancake mix... so i made 6 pancakes before i had 2 good enough for us to eat. haha :/

and i cleaned the kitchen! it needed it -SO BAD-

then we sat around bored for a looooonnnggggg time..

played some rock band

ate some totino's cheap-y goodness

made wheat spaghetti with sausage added into the sauce :]

had a pecan pie blizzard (!!!!!)

aaaand went home.

i just ate some honey bunches of oats with almonds, and it was magnificent.

to enlighten those who are puzzled by the blog name, i like to think that i'm trying my hand at being a housewife while mama and papa are gone.

.... i'm not quite there yet :3

cooking is really fun, but i got a little ways to go.

i do, however, have my days where i love cleaning, and today was one of them.

so excited to have a place of my own someday (if i ever get a job, hah) that i can decorate and clean and controlllll [yes]

i like being in control.

speaking in relationship language, you know how sometimes you just feel really anxious and impatient like you can't wait to find someone to adore [that adores you back]

and sometimes you feel strong, mature, and in control of what's going on. independent i guess.

i'm kinda in between the two of those. i just gave up on someone i was pursuing (or whatever), and i feel really good that i finally heard the voice of God clearly. in that sense, i feel in control and like i know what i'm doing.

but i've also been single for a long time. and although i know i don't need a boyfriend, the idea that someone has been marked off my list makes me excited to meet the right one!

ah, the perks of being an optimist :] and a child of God!

makes life much, much easier.

a wonderful night to you, my friend <3

no insightful thoughts

i spent a fair amount of today by myself.

whole family is up at kachess now, except for brother who works a lot.

BUT!

i went with kirsten to get her tattoo and it was awesome :]

it looks really good and now i reeealllyyy wanna get money so i can get one!

and her artist was really cool. phil ;]

then we went and visited andre at work, he is so rad

i got hungry, so i bought some peach mango juice, hawaiian chips, and gerber's baby fruit snacks.

they are frickin delicious.

and now i'm hangin with brother.

good day.

i feel so much better now that my mind is all worked out :]

i really don't have anything deep to say today..

unfortunately i had no insightful thoughts today.

so lame.

i'll have somethin good tomorrow :]

buenas noches

rope swing.

today was a pretty typical day.

i slept in too late again. i tried to trick myself into staying up when i first woke up at around 9 by putting my contacts in, but i just fell asleep again with them in. :/

made some plans with kirsten, but they fell through :[

but we made awesome plans for later! she's gettin a TATTOO tuesday (yes you are) and we're goin to good 'ol pullllmannn this weekend!

i'm excited :] i love her.

anyways. i cleaned for a while (short short while), then went to the rope swing with caleb and joey.

it was awesome. although i always manage to hurt myself somehow when i'm there.

not even sure how this one happened, but i got a nice lil rugburn on the back of my leg.

me duele bastante :'[

you know that feeling when you're just croonin' along with a song, then you realize how incredibly perfectly the lyrics fit into your life at the moment?

i had that today when i was in my room. it made my knees go weak for a second.

first i wanted to cry, then i smiled like a fool (and sang way louder).

because it gave me peace over something i've been wrestling with big time over the last couple days.

shouldn't even be a big deal, but i just cannot get it off my mind!

i think this is one of those times where i pray that God will show me what He wants for me, and then when He shows me the answer, it's not what i wanna hear so i keep waiting for the other answer....

let's just say i have my answer. i've fought it for too long, and Father, i'm ready to accept it.

not what i wanted. but since when does what i want for myself matter? :]

i'm movin on. growin up. and learnin how to not ruin my relationships.

i love my life, even when it makes as much sense as Donnie Darko does when you're watching it for the first time and halfway through you remember you have an online assignment due in an hour.... (my baddd)

God loves you, my friend. don't ever doubt it.

incepted

yeah, I saw that movie today. yeah it blew my mind.
soooooo freakin good, first movie in a long time I haven’t felt like I wasted my money on :]

today I woke up.. too late.. again.
went to allied arts show/art in the park, where my papa is showin his stuff again. go visit tomorrow if you can!
me n joey walked around and looked at crap, played with spinny things, ate delicious food, watched bellydancers.... the usual ;]
it was quite entertaining tho! especially the male dancer. new hero.
then we went and visited andre at his work, saw the new ride, just chilled. but it was awesome :]

soo yeah... that movie is really good.

check out some picatures.

long black hair front left-ish = yeah that's a dude.

papa's stuff :]

say it out loud

i slept in too late again today.. school is gonna be one biggg slap in the face :/
at around 6, my family + briana went jetskiing at levey park.
it's pretty awesome. i wakeboarded, and the water was SO NICE.
i haven't had good water yet this year! and it was really warm (the water was) :]
it was a lot of fun. which i needed. i was really on edge.
i missed village today, and it made me sad :[ and i'm starting to really. really. miss people in pullman.
it has definitely taken a piece of my heart. <3

i've decided i really like blogging. blessings happen all around me every day, but a lot of the time i don't even realize how wonderful they are until i have to say it out loud.
i recommend it :]

kirsten and cassie

tonight, i hung out with two lovely ladies: kirsten lindquist and cassie lane.
we had fun with each other :] they are great girls.
it was interesting, and kind of funny... because i realized how long it had been since i just hung out with girls. other than like... coffee dates.
i guess i spend so much time with boys because i adore the dramaless-ness, but now that i know who my drama-free friendgirls are, i guess i should be less scared to hang out with them.
anyways. point is we had fun. once i figured out how to drive cassie's car :3
i'm really glad living with kirsten last year didn't ruin our friendship. that would have been sad. i really like her. :]
and me and kirsten decided that cassie is getting married soon!! we are so excited for her.
;]

i can't seem to get the future off my mind lately.
just about everything!
school, church, friends, husband, independence (reluctant or not), house, career.. EVERYTHING.
sometimes, thinking about the future makes me really happy/excited/optimistic!

and sometimes it just scares the crap out of me.
(this would be one of those times)

please pray for me tonight, if you could. i don't know why.. but i am so scared.

welcome to the matrix.

i had a dream about stehekin last night... it was exciting. i miss it.
woke up way too late again (noon), so i was waaayyy too tired the rest of the day.
iced chai at kennewick coffee company. holla!
nailed down date for performance there. August 7! come if you wanna :]
went bowling with the family and the joey. i beat my sister the first game and my brother the second. joey is actually good! (i am not)
then!! andre joey and i ate MONGOLIAN. deeeeelicious. i added cilantro for the first time. definitely don't regret it.
and to end the day, i watched the matrix for the first time. i tried to watch it last year, and fell asleep immediately.
in case anybody doesn't know... IT WAS AWESOME.

wrote a paper yesterday (hispano-american semantics, say whaaat). did fun crap today. jetskiing tomorrow. silverwood soon!
summer is going SO fast :[
but i am really excited for the future.
i can't express how grateful i am to have friends i trust.
so happy. luv. :3

veranoooooo.

it's been a super long time since i've blogged... i'll get better at it. it's actually quite fun, but i'm just too stinkin lazy. hah.
well, summer has been weird. i looked for a job for quite a while, filled out a gazillion applications, but didn't get hired anymore. so for now i'm doing odd jobs for parents of friends and being a bum.. which is okay.
i've spent a lot of time with my greatest friends, and i'm super blessed. a couple shout outs to the people who have made my summer fantastic so far:
joey lane. i'm so lucky to have a friend like him; even if it just stays this way i'll be happy. i've been friend-dumped and back-stabbed by so many friends in just the last year or so, and him just BEING my friend and not doing crappy things to me speaks so loud. i pretty much can't be unhappy around him. so if you read this, you are fantastic and i hope we're friends for a long time. :3
patsyanna morgan. i don't think i know anyone that i had more problems with in high school, but she is [AWESOME]. she is so sweet, so frickin pretty, and so honest. i'm so glad that all the drama is gone, because coffee with you on wednesdays is a huuuuuugeeee blessing! i love that we can just... talk. and not worry about word getting around of anything that we've done, or being judged, or anything like that. it is sooooo nice. i LOVE you lady, and i am so glad we can finally be friends!! :]
and katie ellis. although i haven't seen you much at all this summer, [mostly because i'm bad at managing my schedule and keep ditching you!], you're a big frickin blessing to me. i have been a horrible friend to you in the past and you are one of the only people who told the truth when they said "i forgive you." so thank you!! i always got your back. let's hang out soon. i'll stop ditching you i swear :]

also, i'm so excited for next year. my roommate, beth graham, is AMAZING. she is so sstinkin sweet! we're in an awesome dorm (with kris koller as well!), have a fantastic church (which i will have the honor of serving with the worship team at), and i'll have more friends up there(caleb kimura, bryan killinger, joey lane)!! so excited.

looking forward to the rest of summer. life is good. God is better. and i love you.
:]

God's Power

is incredible. I feel so privileged to follow and know and be loved by a God so amazing. He has blessed me so greatly with a fantastic family, friends that treat me well, and a wonderful church.

Speaking of church, tonight's message brought me to tears. He is SO powerful, it simply blows my mind. Pastor Keith spoke about forgiveness, and that's something i've been real big on the last few years. I have a tendency to do things wrong and make people mad at me, and if i want them to forgive me, i need to know how to forgive people when they make me mad at them.

Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. at all. Anyone can hold a grudge; it's something we've all been able to do since we were still crapping our pants. But letting it go when people do terrible, terrible things to you? That takes some freaking strength. It's too much for me to do on my own... but by the grace of God, it's something i will never have to handle by myself.

If any of you think there's someone in your life that you just can't forgive, you are vastly underestimating the power of my God, my friend. He freaking defeated death!

Let me know what's going on in your life! If there's anything you want to talk through or want prayer for, my mind and inbox are always open. I love you all. Have a fantastic week :)

colegio: semestre de primavera 2010

life is weird right now.

i'm having a hard time thinking of any other way to describe what's going on. college has been a hundred different things for me, but the overriding theme has definitely been laid back. i never got into the party scene at alll (which was tough, but i resolved not to do so and that was that), i have the most laid back, low-maintenance roommate ever, i didn't even make very many friends.. which bothered me at first, but it's grown on me. less friendships to maintain, as lame as that sounds.. or is. but there's a bad side too: i have done the most pathetic job ever maintaining my relationship with God. i haven't fallen away, i haven't renounced Him like 80% of college students do, i'm still crazy in love... but incredibly lazy. and it's catching up to me.

i'd like to say it's not so, but pretending i'm okay when i'm not has never done me any good.

i'm just in such a weird place. i'm not unstable, i'm not in a "dark place," i'm just blah.

the strangest things affect you so strongly when you feel such little joy.

sooo, there's the emo side of my life right now.. but if you know me at all, you'll know it's incredibly hard for me to be in a place where i don't see a bright side. i still have an amazing God. i've found out that it sucks to have friends that aren't nice to me, and got smart enough to stop letting them drag me down. i found out which of my friends are just as spectacular as they've ever been, and trust me, i cherish them so! case in point: last weekend. spent a lotttt of time with two of the coolest guys i know, and even though we allllll had crap in our faces (or vomit, if you're me) at some point, i look back and only see the stuff that made me very happy.

soo, to sum it up:

matt costa blew my mind.

car rides are great with the right people, or person.

music is the best thing ever.

i miss home. warm weather. and my friends.

and stehekin (chelan) next weekend will be incredible. believe me, there will be pictures!